Everything I Need to Know, I Learned From Sabrina the Teenage Witch.


I’ve loved Sabrina the Teenage Witch (or at least, the first few seasons) since I was a little kid watching Nickelodeon. What isn’t to love about a teenager with magic powers, a talking cat, a goofy cute boyfriend and an Arch Nemesis in the form of a bitchy cheerleader? Last year I went through a phase of rediscovering my favourite childhood TV shows (thanks Youtube) and I must say, I’ve really got quite addicted to Sabrina.Or re-addicted, should I say? It’s one of those shows that appeals on a whole different level as you get older; I finally get Salem’s jokes and all the historical references!

What’s more, I realised that aside from being hilarious, Sabrina the Teenage Witch is amazing because it equips you with all of the moral lessons you will ever need in life. Really. Hence the title:

Everything I Need to Know, I Learned From Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

It only feels good to win if you truly deserve it. There have been a couple of times when Sabrina has used her magic to let her win things like Battle of the Band competitions and Kung Fu matches. An ill deserved victory never goes unpunished on this show as Sabrina is taunted by an obnoxious trophy and ruins her friendship with her bandmates, until she changes them back to untalented nobodies again that is. Here we learn that a victory will never feel like a victory unless you win fair and square.

You are the only one that can pull yourself out of a bad mood. As if being a teen wasn’t stressful enough, Sabrina has the added stress of being a witch. The addition of a giant wart suddenly appearing on her face doesn’t help either. In a massive tantrum, she goes Through The Looking Glass into an alternate world to seek solace and becomes trapped in her own bad mood and everyone in this mirror land is a massive grump! She has to fix things by apologising for her actions and then everything is okay again. She also serves a giant flan which leads me to…

Dessert makes everything better. Once Sabrina served a GIANT flan to the student body of Westbridge High, everything was okay and everyone stopped being grumpy. I’m sure the Shiny Happy People soundtrack helped! Moral: Dessert is always good.


Always be honest. Especially with those closest to you. “Relationships are hard enough in complete honesty; start hiding things and you’re in for a rough ride” mused Aunt Zelda. When Sabrina and her Aunts took a skiing va-cay to Mars, she got invited on a picnic by a cute ski-instructor (don’t worry, he wasn’t a martian) – this created an ethical dilemma because she liked Harvey back on planet Earth. She went on the picnic but wasn’t too enchanted with the ski guy because when they shook hands she didn’t feel all tingly.

Wait for the hand tingle. When she shakes Harvey’s hand she feels all tingly and *spoiler alert* he turns out to be her soul mate. He wasn’t too annoyed when she told him about the date either because it made her realise she liked him better. Then they started dating properly and she kisses him and he turns into a frog. Teenagers eh?  If Sabrina teaches us anything, it’s that it is always worth waiting for the person who makes you feel tingly. I’m going to stop saying tingly now.

It’s what’s inside that counts. They’ve really hammered this one home over the course of the show. Like when cousin Susie turned Harvey into a beast to show Sabrina that looks aren’t everything. My favourite example is when Sabrina turns evil cheerleader Libby into a Geek to teach her to be nicer. This spell backfires, like 99% of her other spells, and Libby becomes Head of the Geeks, making fun of cheerleaders and excluding anyone not geeky enough. So basically: it doesn’t matter what clique or clothing she’s in, Libby will always be a power mad dictator because that’s who she is.

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The mean girl has a meaner mother. Before Mean Girls came a long and ruined this theory (remember Regina’s creepy ‘fun-Mom’?), Sabrina was there to show us that snotty girls like Libby have even worse parents. How did she find that out I hear you ask? Oh, she accidentally turned Libby into a jigsaw puzzle and then had to find the missing pieces by discovering more about Libby’s life. Her horrible mother created new found sympathy for Libby, as did finding out she’s actually cares for someone – her Grandmother. They  assemble Libby, although there is one missing piece, her compassion for others. To fill that space Sabrina has to show compassion for dear old Libs, even if Libby doesn’t show it in return. You can kill a bully (metaphorically of course) with kindness, right? Well, Sabrina’ll try!

Everyone makes mistakes, but it’s up to you to put them right. This is pretty much the plot line to every episode. Sabrina does something, bad things happen, she has to fix them. It’s what you come to expect in episodes but it’s probably something people forget about in real life. Once you put things right, you can put it behind you and move on. Whether you’ve got caught sneaking out, riding a vacuum without a license, got stuck in the 1960s or turned a bully into a goat, everything is fixable.

And finally,

You can achieve anything with a pet cat. Yes, they get you into trouble, they can be a pain in the ass, but you can’t live without them. Salem is Sabrin’a cat – he’s actually a 500 year old Warlock who was turned into a cat for trying to take over the world… but let’s not split hairs. He is one of my favourite things about the show because he is hilarious. That’s all I need to say, because I’m about to bombard you with visual examples:






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tumblr_mls9toxaih1sottywo1_250tumblr_mls9toxaih1sottywo2_250I feel like that’s all the knowledge I need to equip myself! Don’t take short cuts, embrace who you are and be honest. Yep. Thank you, Sabrina!

Did you ever watch Sabrina the Teenage Witch? And who is immediately opening a Youtube tab to watch an episode?

2 thoughts on “Everything I Need to Know, I Learned From Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

  1. Sabrina was the best until she moved to college (?)
    Haven’t seen it for years but I still remember the “Mitosis is..” episode.

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